July 5, 2016

Mom Truth

in honour of my favourite 2 moms of the Social Common, who have #MomTruth Fridays, I am doing my own mom truth today because I just feel like venting.

my toddler is kind of driving me crazy.

he's been starting the day crying pretty hard and not really calming down for the 13 things we try to offer him first thing in the mornings. cereal bar? milk? juice? water? toast? cartoons?? what?? what do you want that you're so unhappy when you wake up..?

diaper changes. fcuk I hate diaper changes. we've learnt our lesson in not doing a diaper change right when he gets out of the crib. that resulted in an epic fail. now we wait a bit, offer food & beverages and once he's distracted by some cartoons, then we diaper change. well... now instead of him being zoned in on the TV, he's screaming & kicking & thrashing like we're going to torture him. and he doesn't do a little cry or a little scream... it's enough to raise our blood pressure at 6:30am and be in a bad ass mood for the rest of the day

we leave the house around 7:20am to get to daycare. we typically don't talk on the way to daycare because he's watching a movie on the iPad and if I try to talk, he gives me the dirties. note taken: do not disturb while the Minions or Zootopia is playing. I give him a kiss and a hug and don't see him until close to 5pm.

him & Neil get home from daycare at the end of the day and he usually has sucky in his mouth when they come through the door. a sucky in the mouth usually means trouble of some sort. yesterday, they walked in and he was in tears whining. I asked what happened and apparently... when he leaves daycare, he sees his backpack and starts to whine for the damn sucky. Neil said no. he was in a great mood all day, he doesn't need his sucky. so majority of the drive home he's whining & crying and ended up having a meltdown because Neil wouldn't give it to him. enough that he actually had to pull over and take Caius out of the carseat to actually calm him down. unfcukingbelievable. has a great day at daycare, great mood, all good for her. and then within the 15mins. he's with his parents, life is awful.

suppertime is a challenge. he doesn't want to eat what I've made {chicken, spaghetti with peas & carrots}. he says "all done" without eating one bite. every which way we offer it to him, it's a no with his head going in the opposite direction of his spoon. yet he's pointing to the cupboard saying "cookie!" no. no cookies. it's suppertime, it's food he likes. I'm not making a grilled cheese or french fries to get him to have at least something for supper. so we try the airplane routine and thankfully that got 6-7 bites of chicken in him and that's it.

in the evening, I think he set a record with 3 timeouts in an hour. he screams "NOOOO!" at me for no reason and then proceeds to come over and hit me. he'll hit once and then he'll just basically tap on me like he's hitting me. totally unprovoked. totally for no reason. just what he's been doing. we do not tolerate this kind of behavior so off to the chair he goes. he sits for 1 minute, maybe 1.5 minutes. when it's done, he has to come off the chair, say sorry to us and give us a hug or kiss. what we're saying to him is obviously not working, and neither is the time outs at this point but again, we will not tolerate him to act that way so we're sticking with this punishment

the rest of the evening is an on and off battle of whining and crying, with a little bit of acting out just to top it off. bath time is always good going in and a fcuking gong show coming out. again, screaming bloody murder like we're going to torture him. this lasts while being dried off, getting his diaper on, lotion & pjs. fun... so much fun..

by this point, we put a movie on in the living room and just sit close by while he eats some cookies and apples. we're not disturbing him. we're not going to ask any questions or talk to him. we're just going to leave him be. a bit of a protest happens when it's time for bed. after stories, putting his sleep sack on, giving him his sucky & jubejube, we ask who he wants to put him to bed. surprisingly he chooses daddy. when he chooses daddy, just as I get ready to walk away, he changes his mind and comes to mommy. he cuddles in close and says night night to daddy. last night, he fully wanted daddy. I got a kiss and "love you" about 6 times while waving "nigh night bye". mommy was dismissed, daddy was the chosen one.

I walked out of his room wishing he had chosen me because I hate to end the night feeling crappy. we get such limited time with him because we both work full time and it absolutely sucks having our day start and end with a crabby, mean, toddler. we want to play and have fun with him in the 3 hours we have together, but instead we get the toddler who acts like he hates us. I know this is just a dark cloud that's hanging over us for now and hopefully in a few days we'll be back to all good, but damn... it just totally puts me in the worst mood.

and then I look at photos of him on my phone, watch videos, and text Neil about him and I again start to miss him so much and can't wait to see him. I want to hand in my parent card some days. I want to sleep to feel refreshed instead of re-tired. I also just want a little boy who's good for us like he is for his daycare provider. I can't win lately but I obviously have to keep trying. that's parenthood right?

No comments:

Post a Comment